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When I was 17, you drove me home, the two of you, after a party. You were my friends.   Instead of taking me home that night, you guys drove me to a parking lot in the middle of nowhere.
In the middle of nowhere.
You were my ex-boyfriend and the one that crawled on top of me first.   Even when we dated you never listened when I said no.
I didn’t fight either of you.  I didn’t shout or scream or bite or try to run.
I simply
gave [...]

Kathy Brown says:
Thank you Kjersti! Love you! Kathy more
wildchildmama says:
Thank you, Maren! I’ve written this one so many times and couldn’t... more
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I think I might take I will take risks in my writing.  I will say things I will regret later.  Things that might insult some people.
I want to apologize in advance. No. Actually, that’s a total cop out. I will take responsibility for what I say.  For how I say it. 
Some of these things will be thoughtful and considerate.
Others will not. 
It’s the heat of the moment kind of writing that scares me the most, shuts me up tightly, suffocates me. These [...]

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CHANGE.  Sometimes it’s a curse word, right?
When change visits, I freak out.  I get anxious, toss and turn all night, my thoughts become fists shaken at the sky.  worryworryworry.
Beautiful and Loved Ministry has gone through many changes in the last year and a half.  The last couple of weeks is no exception.
My ministry partner, the one person I’ve been organizing the last year’s worth of outreaches with, feels called to serve in other ways.  She needs to focus on her family.
And, instead [...]

Ron Beam says:
You have a wonderful testimony. You are doing great work for the Lord. I hope... more
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As I packaged the Lia Sophia jewelry into pink tissue, placing them into little pink bags, I was overcome.  One woman from my church had GENEROUSLY donated over 100 pieces of brand new jewelry just for this.  To be hand delivered to women working in strip clubs.  I reflected on my time as a stripper.  What if someone had delivered this to me?  Such a beautiful gift, asking nothing in return, just wanting me to know I was loved.
And then [...]

My Inner Chick says:
——Have you noticed a man in the strip club with scars in his hands,... more

Ignorant, privledged people

I recently read this article called “Fighting Sex Trafficking with Jesus: How the Religious Right’s ‘Healing’  Hurts”
Just typing the title makes my teeth pound with anger.  I’m not just upset by this article, I’m seething.  Go ahead and read it.  Then enjoy the comments *sarcasm*.  Here’s a little recap:
Basically it’s stating how ridiculous and harmful it is that Christian organizations are helping to pass laws that protect people picked up for prostitution, that these same Christian organizations are sneaking their way into rehabilitating the [...]

 

Of Course I loved being a Stripper! .

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It was “the life.” 
I had money, drugs, no attachments.  All I had to do was go tanning, wear pretty makeup, dance in stilettos (okay, that took some getting used to) and drown out all my thoughts and emotions.  
That’s all I ever wanted to do anyway.  I hated that nagging, whiny, needy voice inside that wanted so much guidance and stability and love.  Yuck.
All I wanted was to shut that girl up and finally live life!  
And to pretend.  
In [...]

 

I Ain’t Got Vegas Stripper Guts.

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We drove into Vegas at night.
From a distance, it looked like an ocean of lightning bugs.  Millions and millions of floating sparkles.  My eyes widened in awe of the waves of glitter and the promise of gold I’d leave with in my purse
There was a dancer I worked with, Brandy. A scrawny little thing.  Like a mosquito.  Thin blonde hair. Bones held together with visible  gears.  Nubby little boobies.  
Brandy boyfriend’s visited her every night at work like a shadow. [...]

 

blogging, change, bravery

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Blogging…it’s my secret fort, under the blankets, where secrets and flashlights play.
It gives me a place to figure out what’s going on in this chaotic heart of mine.  I find words to breathe in and out all the turmoil, confusion, passion, love, perceptions, insanity that is churning and swirling inside.
Sometimes it’s a hurricane up in here.  A mess.  Nowhere to ground myself.  Losing my grip.  I want to shout, to question, to point fingers, to demand answers but I can’t [...]